Tuesday, 28 March 2017

Lets be better parents with NLP




Here’s a piece of coaching help I often find myself giving to parents:

Do you find yourself explaining yourself again and again?
Do you think it you can solve an argument by trying to make them understand?
The fact is, they don’t understand you! They’re going to see things differently. Children and adults
have different perspectives. Parents can spend a lot of time and energy trying to make a child
accept their logic. It’s just not going to happen.

So explain yourself once to your child and then move on.
This is a tough pill to swallow for parents. We all feel like things would be easier if only our
children understood why we want them to do certain things. NLP is based on a number of
presuppositions.If you were  to practice and adopt these presuppositions, it would help to ease
your journey through life.

The map is not the territory and people respond according to their map of the world: 
Each one of us perceive the world through our five senses –the external territory. We then take 
this external phenomenon and make an internal representation of it –our map. This external map 
is influenced by what we call filters in NLP. These are our perceptions, our beliefs and values. It 
follows then that what is outside can never be, the exact same as what we create inside our brain.
In other words, each one of us have our individual map of the world and in order to communicate
effectively and easily, it is important to understand the internal reality or the map of the person we 
are communicating with. 

In this instance the other person is our child. As a parent it is extremely important that we are 
able to look at the world through the eyes of our children. See what they are seeing, hear what 
theyare hearing and feel what they are feeling. It is only after meeting them at their own map of
the world that we can gently steer them in a different direction if need be.  

What helps you as a parent to understand your child’s world?
Spending more time with them, watching their favourite TV programme, listening to their favourite 
music, laughing with them at the latest viral video on YouTube and the kind will help you get closer to
the child’s world. 
Communication is a huge umbrella that covers and affects all that goes on between humans. We need
to be aware of the tone and our body language while communicating with our child. Babies learn all 
aspects about communication from those people who are in charge of them from birth! 
So when we communicate with our children got to be fully present in the moment so that we make
sure that we are not sending confusing messages to our child through a mismatch between our words,
our tone and our body language. Saying “I Love you” through clenched teeth do not convey a loving
message! 

Happy Parenting

Lets be better parents with NLP

Here’s a piece of coaching help I often find myself giving to parents: Do you find yourself explaining yourself again and agai...