Thursday, 26 March 2015

Do You Connect while you communicate ?



“People like people who like them. When others know you care, they’ll listen.” ~ John Maxwell


Do you really connect or you just talk ? Thats one question you need to ask yourself if you feel you are not able to influence. Connecting with people helps you relate to them. Its not just a talk its about putting in that extra effort, demonstrating that you are genuinely interested and to convey its more about the other person and not you. Get over yourself. Compliment, look for ways to add value. Let people know that you are happy and excited to be with them. Make them feel and know they matter and they add value to you too.
When people take action, they do so for their reasons, not yours.  Connecting begins when the other person feels valued.  Listen to them. Find out what they value. Share your values that are similar to theirs. Build your relationship on common values. 
Be charismatic, be the one who instantly make people feel important, feel special, feel better about themselves—be the kind of people everyone wants to be around...and wants to be.
Here are few tips:
1. Listen way more than talk: Ask questions, maintain eye contact, smile and respond non-verbally too.That's all it takes to show the other person they're important. Listening shows you care. A person who cares will listen to you, because your opinions matter to them. Listening shows you care a lot more than offering advice, because when you offer advice in most cases you make the conversation about you, not them.
2.You can’t give what you don't have : If you want to be a people’s person and if you want people to identify with you, it's better to talk about your failures rather than successes. Be humble. Admit your mistakes. Be the cautionary tale. And laugh at yourself. People won't laugh at you. People will laugh laugh with you. They’ll love you better for it and would want to be around you a lot more.
3. Look for the common ground: Know your audience. This requires understanding others. Its important for finding common ground to let others in on what you believe and feel. We need to be there where they are and see from their point of view. Travel to their world mentally. See their perspective before asking them to see from your perspective. Use your stories once you know theirs.
4. Connect Beyond words Your body language says it all. Every words , every message that you convey has to have a bit of you, your emotion, your feeling. You need to connect visually, emotionally along with verbally to leave an impact.
When you speak to an audience, expand your expressive self, smile, walk with a sense of purpose. Keep your body language open. Speak out of your experience, relate your stories. People will remember how you made them feel. Convey your own confidence in them.
Have the energy of a giver. Speak with love, grace, gratitude, compassion, and passion. That is how you will reach their hearts.The larger the crowd, the more energy you must provide in the form of passion and love and believing in people.
5. Keep it simple : The aim is to bring clarity and not make it complex. People want to know the bottom line. Repeat what you want to convey. Say less and say it simply. Ask yourself, “Have I understood and related to the audience?” “Did I make a difference?” “Have you help them create a plan for themselves,?”
6. Live what you Communicate: Be what you convey. Let credibility be your currency. You must become the kind of person you would like to like and be with. Be enthusiastic as people respond it enthusiasm. Let people feel your passion which is a powerful tool to reach out . And passion comes from believing what you say, believing that it helped you change and believing that it will help others too. Encourage them to take action, that one step in the next 24 hrs that will start the change in them and get the ball rolling.
7. Shine the spotlight on others: No one receives enough praise. No one. tell people what they did well. Not only will people appreciate your praise, they'll appreciate the fact you care enough to pay attention to what they're doing.
We all want to associate with happy, enthusiastic, fulfilled people. The words you choose can help other people feel better about themselves--and make you feel better about yourself, too!

Lets be better parents with NLP

Here’s a piece of coaching help I often find myself giving to parents: Do you find yourself explaining yourself again and agai...