Sunday, 25 January 2015

The tale of a Soldier's Wife : JAI HIND KI SENA 

I started my life as an infantry spouse way back in 1986. I was a young girl with a sparkle in my eyes and an enthusiasm of an adventurous life. Life seemed beautiful, to say the least. I looked forward to happy matrimony and togetherness. My husband was a commando instructor and I was a proud bride to see him creating more commandos.

The initial year passed by.. learning to cook and running the  house with a meagre salary. With little money in hand we still had friends coming over every few days for dinner. It was so much fun with same age group around and still remember the bike rides to Goa from Belgaum.

But an Infantry wife’s life is never so smooth …the tough days of Srilanka, Assam were frightful and I would wait for the postman to give me news of his well being.Those were the days when the postman had the power to cheer or sadden you up. He seemed to be the most sought after guy & the shrewd fellow knew it. The memories of Umroi Cantt are still so fresh in my mind when all the ladies got together in the 2IC’s house to get the phone call that would tell us ..ALL IS WELL! Our communication was dependent upon factors beyond our control, and even when it did happen, it was sometimes stale news. I can still feel the excitement and the disappointment each day brought us. 

It is amazing how the ladies kept each other’s morale high though each one was trying her best to keep the tears away. Life in the 'paltan' was full of fun because we had a wonderful crowd. Life was always so unpredictable. I still remember it was my anniversary and I had been preparing whole day for the party as  I was looking forward for everyone to come over in the evening. It was in the evening at 6 that I came to know the Unit was moving out. I recall the tears that wouldn't stop flowing. Poor hubby didn't know how to handle them. With time I learnt how to bravely face these sudden disappearing acts that my hubby did.

Today, after 28 years of married life, when I look back, I see the distance I have travelled. The best thing that ever happened to me was marrying an infantry officer and I am proud of him and our Paltan, 1/11GR which proudly carries the honour to be called Bravest of the Brave with officers like Major Manoj Kumar Pandey, PVC & 2nd Lt Puneet Nath Dutt, Ashok Chakra. Frequent separations, challenges of single-handedly parenting and the learnings of life blossomed me from a simple girl to an efficient army wife.

Over the years, I have grown exponentially and a lot of credit goes to our infantry way of life. Moving from place to place, adjusting in all kinds of accommodations, managing school admissions, not being able to reach the near and dear ones when required etc made me strong. The comradeship of an infantry Battalion , the feeling of being in a home away from home, the strong bonds between the ladies, and of course, the growth that comes from a life lived to the fullest, can't be described in words, can only be felt.

Kids are the biggest beneficiaries of this nomadic life that we lead.  Moving from place to place, they learn the important skill of being able to adjust under all circumstances. Going to ten schools in twelve years makes them learn how to prove themselves time and again, not only to their teachers but also to themselves. Through the journey they make new friends and pick up the various cultures of India. And thats the reason we faujis have no one particular religion. We belong to India.

Working for Asha School came along the way and like a true army wife gave my 100% and was honoured with Army Commander's Commendation Card. An honour which is rarely conferred upon an army wife.

Today I am almost 52 but haven't lost the sparkle in my eyes, the energy in my walk and the zest to live a life with compassion, love & a never die spirit. Remembering the Martyrs on this Republic day, I am going for the flag hoisting with a plastered foot to be with the families of jawans. Thats the undying spirit of an Infantry wife. 
Thank you, Infantry.


Wednesday, 21 January 2015

The Sky Is The Limit!

We are all spiritual beings looking for greater expression and fulfilment. What stops us is our own worst enemy..the mind. It’s an every day effort to be in the present moment, to take control of the flood of thoughts and images in our mind, our powerful feelings and progressive action.
We keep getting flashbacks of regret… “If I had only done this a year ago!”,”Why didn't I do something about it?” We never seem to let go of the past. 
We keep getting these glimpses of promise within us..”Tomorrow I’m going to get my life organised…I will definitely start my goal..”
Right now, is the wasted moment (The overlooked gift) as we’re living in all the times…past and future but "NOW."

Let go of the past,capitalize on the present and create a beautiful future for yourself. Practice it till it becomes a habit ! The vastness of the sky is what will unfold for us ! 

Tuesday, 20 January 2015

Discover Your Calling

46 year old Teresa, an empty nest mom found herself alone and lost when her soul mate husband suddenly died in late 2005. She had a very busy professional career. She had taken the jobs she thought were best, with no real concern for what she wanted, and worked long and hard to succeed. She found herself in a rut.
Stretching For What Truly Matters
When pushed to stretch for "what most mattered to her", she added that she wanted to wake up in the morning and be excited about what she will do the rest of the day. But right now she wasn't . She was struggling with "where I am and what do I want to do." She was feeling "stuck."
The conversation between the coach and Teresa:
Coach : What wasn't working well for you?
All my life I had focused on the family and career. She said "as a baby boomer I had always focused on what others wanted, but never on what I wanted."
Coach: What’s was it that stopped you from not achieving your goals.
She said she simply felt she could never think about her needs.
Coach: What’s important to you at the moment?
"I want to stop and take time out for myself now. I realize it's my turn now.
Clarifying A Vision of Desired Results
On being asked , "how would your life be transformed if you changed this right now?" Are you standing in your power or still wanting to pleasing someone else?
She thought for a while, her face resting on her hand and smiled back at me as if she saw a ray of hope of changing her thought process.These questions seem to set her thinking. Teresa with a glint in her eyes said, “You allowed and encouraged me to look inside myself for the first time in my life, without guilt and with total focus and clarity. The vision of doing something that I love and doing it for my own self."
Teresa conveys, "When my coach questioned me, "What are you passionate about?" "What are you willing to endure to see your goal become a reality?" "If you weren’t holding anything back, what would you be doing."
I discovered that my true passion was to create costumes for early English life periods.”
She included an intangible sense of "comfort," a sense of belonging in that place, of being able to create something that she always desired to. She also envisioned herself becoming a well-regarded member of the local community and creating a thriving, meaningful business.
She found it difficult, at first, not to let herself be overwhelmed by the brilliance of her newly crafted vision. However, with life coaching help, she faithfully followed the life design process, step by step.
Clarifying Current Reality
The change started, the chain of small steps begun.
Now as Teresa took her first steps into her new goal she became aware of few things, first considerations that she will have to work twice as hard and that she will have to make an effort to market her product.
What are the stoppers in taking action?
Some fears like fear of rejection, fear of failures are setting in.
Action Steps: Create and Adjust, Create and Adjust
What would be the most helpful thing that you could do now?
She said, "I need to start believing in myself and may be I need to research where to get cheap raw material from?"
Much of what she found out didn't help her. She made mistakes, fixed them, and carried on.
Undaunted, determined to make her vision a reality, and emboldened by our personal success coaching sessions.
The Awesome Power of Passion, Practice and Perseverance:
Teresa worked on her dream with passion, never giving up. She said, "I engaged my life coach to discover my true "life calling" and get my ideal set up of life as such. My coach was “able to bring clarity to my situation, and sometimes help me see the obvious. I accomplished my goal of decreasing stress by finding life balance. I gathered myself and started doing something that is more in tune with who I am and my personal goals. My accomplishments actually meant getting my life, health and peace back. I had been totally consumed by work, by thinking about everyone else other than me. It was unhealthy in every way.”
And more importantly she explains, “My coach awakened me to discover the practical and realistic steps to actually turn my dream as a designer and producer of period costumes, into reality, based on ME! I discovered my breakthrough goal, something that brought new opportunities."
Key takeaways ! 
Crafting a clear, compelling vision, then living that vision in reality, and taking action, step by step, you too, perhaps with a little personal success coaching-can transcend complexity and make way to your goal in spite of the circumstances and problems you face.
With practice, you might find yourself living out your dreams with the same kind of boldness that Teresa lived hers. You too might discover the genius, power, and magic that come from mastering your own creating process.
Jas signing off till next time !

Sunday, 18 January 2015

The Toughest Times…. Do they make you stronger?

Strengthen your mindset like the roots of an old tree as it will determine your level of success. A positive mindset can empower you to abolish any kind of hurdles before they become too gigantic.
It’s really hard to believe in yourself when everything around you seems to be crumbling into pieces, but keeping the faith is the only way to trudge through the hard times and see yourself triumphing towards better days.

Feeling the pressure of tough times? Try these out…..

1. Sit and reflect on what happened. Did you succeeded in the most unpleasant scenarios, the insurmountable situations in the past? If not completely you did succeed partially. Didn't you? Clearly, your ability to overcome these situations speaks loudly for your strength and abilities.
Thinking about them help in both ways as you might be able to emulate your past solutions by adapting them to fit your current situation. Other times, you’ll be able to learn what not to do from past trials and tribulations.

2. Respond & Act immediately. Address a situation before it becomes too intimidating. Retreating into your personal cocoon is not going to help.
    - Don't let urgency corner you. Create a proactive plan NOW. Its great to have a just-in-case plan in advance.
    - It's you, who is in charge of managing your life and ensuring its success. Take pride in this power. Put the right foot forward. Your life is what you make of it as you are the leader of your life.

3. Believe in yourself. Believe that you WILL make it through. Remember that you have found your way out of a tough situation before. You’ll do it now too. There is always a way to float – always.

    -Remember you have a grand list of supporters…your family, friends who are cheering you on every day basis. They are proud of you & have faith in your abilities because you’ve proven your strength time and time again.

All that is required is a confirmation to yourself that you’re as strong and as tenacious as you suspect yourself to be.

Let your mindset be positive to help you ride over the rough tide!!
And do not forget you attract the energy you exude!

Monday, 5 January 2015

New year thoughts continued….

2015 has set in…I love the new year! It always fills me with a feeling of new  possibilities. It’s a fresh start and time to try something new…with the New Year coming in, new aspirations , new hopes set in. I am unstoppable in sharing  all the thoughts coming up in my mind. 

One thing that people surely think at this time of the year is about their career. Are you thinking too! Lets just ponder over some career thoughts! 

Typically we all generally fall into one of three camps: happy, may be okay for now or definitely not happy. Regardless of where you fall on the spectrum, there are things you can do to move your career in the right direction.
Lets take them up one by one. 

Happy with your current position? Great! That’s good news. Do you know that you are unique as you fall into the minority count?  According to a recent Right Management poll, just 5 percent of workers polled said they intend to remain in their current position. So celebrate and make the most of your unique situation! Evolve more, seek newer opportunities, contribute to the success of your employer or your company. 

Your job is okay…for now? Now, in the beginning of the year its a great time to start putting out feelers and look for greater directions and making connections that could lead to a new opportunity. Main factors that make people seek newer pastures are- one, confidence in their ability to find a better option and two, the frustration with the status quo. And what better time to look for a job than when you already have one at hand. Reach out to recruiters, advisors or coaches.

A coach can proactively help you take more control of your career. Coaches can help you think and decide for yourself, help you visualise  about what that new position would look like, and what you would need to seriously consider making a move.
Coaching can help you assess your current skills, experience and requirements, help you make a clear, realistic career action plan.
If you fall into the third camp of definitely not happy where you are, or may be you do not have a job currently? Now is a great time to renew the vigor of your job search. Do up your skills of research and reaching out. Making sure your resume and portfolio of work are current and professionally presented as it does help to make that first impression. Stay aware and be on top of news of growth or changes within companies you’re interested in so that you are one of the first to know of new opportunities. Commit to frequently attending industry events or meetings to be aware . To move to the next level to wherever you are in your career take note of three things :

Be a learner all your life.  Acquire new skills. You got to be responsible for your own growth. Stay up-to-date. Seek out to take classes thus upgrading your skills.

Stay connected with inspiration. To be interesting, be interested. Read, research, listen. Keep your antennas on as there is content, information and data everywhere. 

Always be on the look out for meeting interesting people. Next time you get to attend an event, make it a point to meet someone you don't know rather than sticking to the old acquaintances. Interesting conversations happen with people who are different from you.

Good Luck for a Superb career graph this year !

Sunday, 4 January 2015

The year that has gone by…..

Looking back , reminiscing.. you all would agree that we’ve all had our ups and downs this past year. Our own big or small trials and triumphs. But on the whole don't you think this has been a very good year for spiritual progression. More people are seeking out and finding that knowledge than ever before.

Now just to bring this back down to you and me. Pondering over my own year I asked myself a few questions that I would like to pose to you all. Maybe you'll get as much from this exercise as I did.

The first few things I asked myself is admittedly very straight and simple. I wrote down the following in my diary:
"What has been your biggest reflection of 2014? 
Have there been any particular themes or lessons that you experienced? 
Are there any significant wins or any trials you underwent that stand out to you?" 
I then proceeded to list them in columns. A column for wins, and a column for lessons.  

I realised that whatever the case may be and whatever distance you have traveled on your journey, you and you alone can decide when to heal, when to be strong, and when to learn more so you can improve upon wherever you are at any given point of time. Only you can make a better, more upgraded you. Its your journey and you alone have to walk it.

Who else is going to be with you at every moment of your life, at every breath that you take? Who else is guaranteed going to be there at every turn, at every crossroad? Clearly nobody but you,yourself. You are your own navigator of your life.

What I am going to suggest next may throw you for a bit of a loop, it may sound cheesy at first but it's effective, it works for me , it might work for you too. Here is what you need to do, give yourself a big giant bear hug! Hug it out with yourself. Feel that loving embrace from your soul mirroring back to you and notice how it rejuvenates your spirit, filling each cell with healing vital force energy.

Go ahead, nobody is watching... Embrace Your Self! Give yourself a pat that you made it through another round of seasons. The new year isn't the finish line, it's just a check point. So if you were feeling any complacency take this moment to remind yourself to keep going. 

If you feel low, do a check and reflect on whatever bug has gotten you. Push out what no longer serves you. Sometimes what looks like a negative is really a positive, and sometimes what looks like a positive is really not. Do not live in regrets.

I am reminded of the poem “Desiderata”, and my favourite part is:
"Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

And the last few lines:
“And whatever your labors and aspirations
in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

As I pen this down I realize that I too am talking to that one Being... who has seen it all in this particular journey of life...& thats me.

Cheers to a new beginning !

Saturday, 3 January 2015

Dare to Take The Unbeaten Track …

It’s no secret that the key to success is your mind set. let me share a few changes that one can bring in to own this secret.

There is a famous belief that most people earn within 20% of the mean income of their closest associates/ friends. Unless you move ahead and  get better role models you cant be a greater winner so hang around with winners. You might be a bit uncomfortable but soon you would get the push required to step out of the comfort zone. 

Overcome the fear to tread on the unbeaten track. Think what others can’t. Do something that you’ve never done before. Embrace the change, even if you are a bit reticent & begrudging to do that, take small steps by least accepting it. Notice the confidence setting in.

Have you ever thought of why certain people are stuck in a financial mediocrity- its because they are scared to take the risk. Ask yourself what you fear and get over it.

The road to success will always have its ups & downs, the pot holes, detours and traps. That’s why most people just give up midway. To be successful, you got to become BIGGER than those problems! You must grow your stature and mindset so that the problems begin to seem SMALL as compared to you!

All that is required is the confidence to affirm that you are bigger than any of the problems. Take on a problem , think of 3 actions you can take to become bigger than it this week.
You owe success  to yourself so begin to make these changes. It is simply a mindset change that becomes established with practice! So try it & get going ! 
See the world from a different angle ! 
Signing off here with a hope that you will take the challenge !!

Lets be better parents with NLP

Here’s a piece of coaching help I often find myself giving to parents: Do you find yourself explaining yourself again and again?...